我丈夫误解了我说的一切！
这是一个普遍的投诉。
在可管理的情况下，打破这种习惯是重新修复配偶动态的问题。
更极端的情况可能会导致侵略性的燃气。
Whichever the case, learning how to talk to someone who turns everything around is a valuable skill, both personally and professionally.
为此，今天，我们专注于丈夫，这些丈夫责备他们的配偶，而不是成熟地承认自己是错误的。
Why do they do it?
And more importantly, how can you mitigate the problem?
这篇文章是什么：
当有人扭转局面时，它叫什么？
当有人试图扭转局面时，您会感到多么烦恼？
如果你像大多数人一样,它跻身金属氧化物半导体t frustrating things in your life! It can be straight up maddening — crazy-making!
Unfortunately, it happens all the time, and there’s a word for it: gaslighting.
这些天，术语抛光一词被抛弃了很多 - 但仅在很短的时间内正确使用。许多人认为这是说谎的代名词，但事实并非如此。
该概念源自1944年由英格丽·伯格曼（Ingrid Bergman），查尔斯·博耶（Charles Boyer）和约瑟夫·科滕（Joseph Cotten）主演的电影《毒气》。在其中，扮演伯格曼丈夫的博耶（Boyer）使用了骗局操纵为了说服她，她会发疯，以便他可以从她身上偷走。
For a long time,gaslighting referred to manipulation如此极端，以至于引起精神错乱。今天，该词是指散布虚假叙述的行为，使人们怀疑他们的看法。
它还用来描述一个兜售虚假的人试图打开桌子的情况，或者使用被揭穿但广泛相信的索菲斯特派对的情况。
So while many gaslighters lie to maintain their position, the word is not interchangeable with fibbing.
Why Does My Husband Turn Everything Around in an Argument?
Is your husbandsomeone who turns things around on you？如果是这样，您可能会发现自己想知道：“为什么？”当涉及气体照明时，动机会变化。可能性包括：
- 傲慢：老式傲慢是糟糕行为的燃料，including gaslighting。
- 未解决的童年创伤：通常，男人通过采用专制倾向来应对未解决的童年创伤。
- Stress and Anxiety：Stress and anxiety can significantly impact how we treat other people.
- 控制问题：从未学过适当的社交技巧的人常常难以承认错误，并经常试图将桌子贴在伴侣身上。
- 性别歧视 /厌女症：很遗憾，但是有些男人仍然困扰着性别歧视和厌女症，永远不会将他们的妻子视为应受到尊重的平等伴侣。
我丈夫扭转了我的一切：您可以回应的9种方式
不幸的是，我们不能强迫其他人的行为不同。最终，我们只能控制自己。为此，让我们探索九种方法来回应丈夫，他们总是试图扭转一切。
1.花点时间处理情况
It’s perfectly acceptable to walk away from a situation calmly. No rule says you must stay and fight to the bitter end. And sometimes, walking away is the best option as it diffuses tense situations.
当您平静下来并准备工作时，接近您的丈夫并解释说，您非常愿意就手头的事情进行民事，成熟的对话，您俩都在这里呈现您的观点and evidence.
但是，让他知道你不会容忍气光和其他类型的操纵性胡说八道。
2.显示收据
One of the most effective ways to stem an argument in progress is to provide evidence that supports your position — aka, in social media parlance, “show the receipts.”
但是，请注意，如果您的丈夫有自恋人格障碍。People with the condition become very threatened by facts that collide with their delusional narratives.
3.站起来
当你的丈夫把一切都变成了争论，很容易接受他的事件版本来结束辩论和move on.
但是，尽量不要陷入这种对话速度。如果您这样做，Ole’Hubby可能希望每次对话都“赢”。
4.沉迷于自我保健
Dealing with a husband who turns everything around on you is draining, and self-care is an excellent way to revive your emotional tank after an argument.
So if things get heated, consider retiring from the situation and doing something as simple as taking a hot bath or shower. That small act can lower your stress levels and temper emotional triggers.
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5.见治疗师
Therapy can be a godsend, especially if you’re constantly thinking: “My husband misinterprets everything I say!”
A counselor can assess the situation from a neutral standpoint, offer constructive advice, and maybe even help you reframe the situation.
6. Involve Other People
In most cases, involving other people in your marital disputes is about as smart as using an electric hairdryer in the tub. However, if you feel that your spouse is gaslighting you to a dangerous degree, it may be wise to confide in friends and family about the situation.
That way, if they see him manipulating you, they can serve as your backup. In worst-case scenarios, informing other people may be a matter of safety.
7. Curate a Quiver of Comebacks
Sometimes, an arrogant husband who’s always trying to turn things around on you can be cut down to size with a few well-placed, witty comebacks.
尝试类似，“对不起；我没有明白。我不会发脾气。”或者，也许是“是的，基尔戈尔，你知道我早上的气味如何。”
8.忽略他 /冰上他
Sometimes, the only way to get a husband to behave is to ice him out for an extended period. Explain why you’re giving the cold shoulder. Then, like a member of the Night’s Watch, let your watch begin.
And don’t half-a** it! The goal is to make a point. Make it clear that he will get one-word answers and couch sleeps until his behavior changes!
9.离开他，女人！
Unfortunately, some relationships change, resentments fester and metastasize, and there’s no way through the bickering and blaming. If this is where you find yourself,divorce may be the best option。
After all, do you want to go through the rest of your life with an overgrown child who cannot admit when he’s wrong and constantly turns the tables on you? Just thinking about it is exhausting!
充满永久张力的生活是不可持续的，它可能会影响您的身心健康。如果您陷入这种情况，请考虑夫妻咨询。谁知道，动作背后的动机可能植根于您可以通过少数会议来解决的小东西。
Also, remember that physical assault is never
好的。如果与您的丈夫螺旋式打击，拍打或击打，请寻求当地家庭暴力组织的帮助。
