Statistically and logically speaking, more often than not,relationships end。
After all, most folks date more people in a lifetime than they marry.
And yes, these endings can be difficult.
But increasingly, people are punctuating their separations with an in-depth conversation — apost-dating ritual我们已经知道“封闭” - 这是为了减轻过渡。
So, to help you through this final stage, we’ve curated a list of提出问题的问题。
What Can I Ask My Ex for Closure?
In the not too distant past, when relationships ended, that was it.
“封闭”的概念不是普遍且可以接受的事情。
People moved on, and that was that.
But things have changed. These days, we better understand the psychological benefits of closure, and many splitting couples indulge in the exercise.
Typically, the process involves a probing conversation, and overwhelmingly, post-breakup questions fall into one of five categories.
- Why:如果你didn’t want the union to end, uncovering whyyour exdid is a typical curiosity.
- When:如果您的关系死亡缓慢，您想知道什么时候开始向南方转向您的前任和其他相关问题。
- 现在：当然，您想了解一些后破后的生活。
- Reflection:此类别包括哲学和what-if questionsrelated to your partnership.
- 和解：Some people wrap up “closure conversations” with amicable questions about the future and remaining platonic parts of each others’ lives.
45个问题要问你的前任
If the split is amicable, or both parties are mature enough to calmly discuss their disappointments and regrets, “exit interviews” can be enlightening.
为此，让我们回顾一下分手后要问的问题。
并非我们所有的疑问都适用于每种关系，但是希望您会发现几种使用。
1。How Are You Doing?
问您的前男友或前女友的第一个问题之一就是他们的情况。很有礼貌。
2.你想念我们吗？
即使和解不可行，这个问题的答案也很有帮助。如果您的前任没有错过这种关系，则可能会使放手变得更加容易。
3. Why Do You Think We Broke Up?
我们都通过不同的镜头看到生活。这将give another perspectiveinto your relationship.
4.你为什么认为我脱离了爱？
这个问题可以提供有关您的前任如何在整个关系中看到您的见解 - 这通常与我们看待自己的方式不同。
5.你为什么脱离爱我？
如果你ask this question, gird yourself for a difficult answer.
6. If I Changed [Insert Thing], Would We Still Be Together?
小心这个。它可能太绝望了。但是在某些情况下，这可能是一个有价值的学习自我反思问题。
7.你还在想我吗？
这个问题可以蓬勃发展，成为一个巨大的自我提升或变成自我驱逐舰。明智地使用！
8.您最喜欢我们的关系吗？
重现美好时光很少会受到伤害，它可以洞悉您可以带来下一个恋爱关系的阳性。
9. What Did You Hate Most About Our Relationship?
承认坏处是非常有益的。毕竟，我们从错误中学习。
10.说实话，你曾经欺骗我吗？
如果你suspected infidelityand your ex consistently denied it, wouldn’t it be nice to know if they weregaslighting you？
11。Be Honest, Did You [Insert Specific Incident]?
Now’s the time to find out if they were lying about that big incident. But remember, they could continue to lie.
12. Could You Ever See Us Getting Back Together?
如果您有有毒的开关图案，请不要独自一人。
13. I Heard You’re Already in Another Relationship. Is That True?
当前任迅速继续前进时，疼痛可能是不可估量的。这个问题削减了任何八卦。
14。Did You Ever See a Future With Me?
Sometimes, it’s good to discover if the other person saw your thing as a fling. It may hurt, but it’s a hard lesson learned.
15.你告诉你的父母我们分手了吗？他们说了什么？
你已经和他的家人近了吗？找出他们如何获得新闻可能会感到安慰。
16. Did the Relationship Change You?
如果工会特别激烈，这可能是一个有趣的问题。
17. What Did You Do With the Stuff I Gave You?
Prepare yourself for the fact that they may have gotten rid of it all.
18.您最喜欢我们关系的记忆是什么？
如果你r ex says something snarky like, “none,” then walk away and don’t look back. You don’t need thatlevel of immaturity。
19.自分手以来，您是否改变了？
这个问题是针对那些在分手后几年没见过的人。
20. What Have You Learned About Yourself During Our Separation?
Was the plan to consider a reunion? If so, this is a good place to start.
21.我是一个好伴侣吗？
这是另一个问题,你应该部署ly if you can handle a harsh response.
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22.您仍然认为您是一个好伴侣吗？
如果你broke up because your ex was anarcissistor dealt withbehavioral issues, this question provides insight into their current state.
23. Do You Think We Were Sexually Compatible?
如果您的前任与有毒的男性气质斗争，您可能不会因为扭曲的感觉而得到真实的答案sexual能力。
24. Are You Sober?
This is for couples who parted ways because of an addiction issue.
25.您一直想对我说什么，但没有吗？
如果对话已经存在于一个有争议的地方，那么这个问题最好留在架子上。
26. Is There Anything About Our Relationship That You Want To Blank From Your Memory?
如果以适量的轻松幽默交付，这可能是一种超级破冰者或减轻紧张局势的方式。
27.您还记得我们第一次见面的时候吗？
Does your ex think back on it fondly? Do you? Were there red flags even then? If so, it may be good to explore.
28.您从我们的关系中获得的最好的教训是什么？
Understanding the good your ex took from the relationship may help heal the pain of splitting.
29. Do You Think You’ll Ever Date Someone Like Me Again?
Do you need to prepare yourself for a doppelganger showing up on your ex’s social media?
30. How Did You Cope With Our Breakup?
当然，您想知道他们是在里面堆积还是疯狂！
31.如果治疗师问您为什么不应该在一起，您会说什么？
Questioning along these lines only works如果您的前任在情感上成熟and has a capacity for self-reflection.
32. Do You Think You’re a Good Person?
有时，我们意识到前伴侣从根本上是不友善的。他们还弄清楚了吗？
33. Do You Think You Treated Me Well?
This question will uncover your ex-partner’s growth since the breakup.
34.您希望我们永远不会分手吗？
如果您知道您的前任想get back together，这不是一个问题。
35. Is Your Family Thrilled We’re No Longer Together?
如果你r relationship with your ex’s family was strained, this stab at dark humor could lighten the mood.
36.您认为其中一种用途是对恋爱关系的失败的责备吗？
这个问题可能会迫使您考虑自己的行为，这可能是一个很好的学习机会。
37. Do You Still Hate Me After All These Years?
如果您与旧的前任会面，并且结束得很糟糕，这是一个公平的问题。“是”意味着您严重伤害了他们。
38. Are You Willing To Forgive Me?
如果您错了，承认自己的错误并要求宽恕是正确的做法。
39.当事情开始崩溃时，您认为我应该做什么？
如果您的前任是有见地的，那么这种质疑可以激发积极的个人成长。
40.您是否改变了对[插入问题]的主意？
如果你broke up because of an irreconcilable difference, you’d likely want to know if they changed their mind about it.
41.您是否曾经发现自己想为您所说和所做的事情道歉？
知道您的前任感到re悔可以治愈。
42.我可以把我的[插入物品]放回吗？
嘿，你想要你的东西！这是可以理解的！
43.你开心吗？
您可以为邪恶和正当的邪恶部署这个双刃问题。
44.您想问我什么吗？
Remember not to dominate the conversation. Your ex may have questions, too!
45.您想尝试成为朋友吗？
如果您真正喜欢您的前任，那么追求柏拉图式的关系可能会很有意义。
结束一段关系可能会令人满意，我们希望您能找到我们的“要问你的前任的事情”list helpful. Good luck!
