You just broke up with a自恋。
或者，也许您正在为大休息做准备。
无论哪种情况，您都会经历与自恋人格障碍（NPD）的人约会的黑暗，现在您已经准备好螺栓了。
Today, we’re unpackinghow narcissists treat their exes帮助您为接下来的事情做准备。
具体来说，我们正在以九种方式进行研究NPD的人在一个之后表现出来romanticsplit.
心理研究人员已经确定了几个自恋者类型, but they all have similar traits.
我们对这些常见问题的回答可能不完全适合您生活中的NPD个性，但是它们提供了一个一般的框架，说明在分开方式时会期望什么。
自恋者为什么要这么多谈论他们的前任？
自恋者对关注和感情的渴望生活，并使用不足的策略来实现自己的目标。
Talking trash about ex-partners to gain pity and sympathy is common.
Plus, they use cautionary tales about their “horrible” exes to groom new partners.Narcissists will bad-mouthformer lovers to illustrate how not to act.
这种策略在较低的人和人们的愉悦者和人们方面效果很好self-esteem。
Do narcissists love and miss their ex?
Heck no! As a general rule, narcissists don’t miss or love their exes — but they’ll work hard to convince you that they do.
Ultimately, people with NPD are incapable of genuinely missing anybody. They don’t know how. Their brains don’t work that way. What they do miss is lording control over you.
自恋者会回到他们的前任吗？
许多自恋者的蛇back to ex-lovers。
为什么？因为他们欣赏熟悉和束缚自己的情感玩法。
为了摆脱一个以病理自我为中心的人，您必须通过切断所有接触来切断他们的自恋供应。
自恋者为什么要成为friends with an ex?
自恋者为什么要成为friends with an ex？保持门打开性intimacy is a top priority for starters.
Like a stalking cat, they’ll wait till you’re vulnerable and then pounce.
Secondly,自恋者喜欢保持控制over their former partners. They get off on gaslighting and triangulation.
第三，追求友谊路线比完全拒绝更容易。
自恋者对待他们的exes的9种常见方式
NPD患者费用——他们更不理想kin to hungry, rabid monsters. Instead of saying sayonara and parting ways, they dig their nails in, beat their chests, and whip up a cauldron of lies.
In many ways, their behavior is an emotional continuation of the relationship. Wielding control, protecting their fragile egos, and eliciting sympathy from unsuspecting parties still top their agendas.
So what can you expect? Let’s dive in.
1。Emotional Manipulation
如果您用自恋者将其分解，请准备一系列的情感操纵以降落在您家门口。您的NPD EX将竭尽所能，以切断开放的不安全感并利用弱点。通常，他们会触发主题以引起您的兴起。是的，他们会公开和私下做。
Destruction is their goal, and they operate like sledgehammers. Even if you cut them off completely, it may take a couple of months for them to move on.
2.正在进行的骚扰
在自恋者的世界中，他们是唯一重要的人，他们不会给其他任何人的愿望给纳秒思考。您停止所有联系的要求将陷入一只耳朵，立即飞出另一只耳朵。
他们将继续发短信，电子邮件，呼叫和轰炸您的社交媒体页面。不要分解并回应。那就是他们想要的。取而代之的是，让“封锁快乐” - 并告诉您的朋友和家人也这样做！这是一个幽灵聪明的实例。
3.继续贬低
What are you going to do without me? You’ll never find someone as good as me. You need me to protect you!
这些是NPD分手谈话的常见示例。它有两个目的：
- Eroding your self-esteem
- 加强他们的自我
自恋者在贬低的陈述中挑剔，因为他们在这一切之下都残酷不安全。这听起来可能违反直觉。毕竟，有NPD的人们非常夸张。但是疼痛孕育了braggadocio。
召唤对自恋者的同情是很难的。记住它们是他们的样子很有帮助，因为有人在年轻时就对他们进行了可怕的对待。
We’re not suggesting you put up with it, but centering that fact may keep you from internalizing their barbs and behavior.
4.积极的性进步
Why do a lot of people stay in与自恋者的关系？Reasons abound, not the least of which is mind-blowing sex. Theories exist as to why this is, but it’s all speculation.
Regardless of the whys, they frequently use their sexual prowess as amanipulation tool分手后。目标是吸引您回到他们的网络。
Please do your best to stand tall against their advances!. Don’t reopen the door to their destructive games!
5. The Blame Game
“看看你让我做的事情”是施虐者和自恋者中的常见咒语。这种怯ward的哭声使他们的罪魁祸首平静，并恢复了内在平衡感 - 因为内gui就像k的kyptonite对NPD大脑一样。
Their maniacal aversion to shame and embarrassment means they’ll blame you for the separation — no matter the circumstances. You may have catered to their every whim and prioritized their feelings. Heck, they may have initiated the breakup!
And yet, you’ll be the scapegoat. Blame for the relationship’s end will fall squarely on your shoulders.
Oh, and guess what? Most narcissists will blast their vitriol around town — online and off. Committed ones may even worm-tongue their way into your family members’ ears.
你所能做的就是庸医了。你的朋友和family won’t believe them. And folks who give credence to malicious gossip likely aren’t worth your time.
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6. Reputation Smearing
Why do narcissists talk about their exes? Because they love tearing other people to shreds. It boosts their confidence and staves off feelings of inadequacy. So expect them to go for the jugular when you split.
NPD的人将使用社交媒体从Tiktok到Facebook涂抹您的名字。为此做准备。与您的朋友和家人交谈，也准备好他们。
Thankfully, this lashing-out phase typically doesn’t last forever. Before long, they either switch tactics or become preoccupied with someone else.
7.勒索
勒索是自恋者颤抖中的另一箭。您是否曾经与他们分享亲密的照片？你们两个人一起在您的性生活和视频中进行实验吗？
First off, don’t let an ounce of shame invade. It’s perfectly acceptable for consenting adults to sculpt their sex lives in any way they see fit. However, if you want to avoid the headache, try gathering all the materials before pulling the relationship’s plug.
Otherwise, there’s a 99% chance the narcissist will hold this sword over your head. The good news is that most never follow through with their threats.
嘿，如果他们这样做，复仇P-RN法律就在您身边。
8. False Promises
When they’re done throwing tantrums and tossing around threats, narcissists often do an about-face and start down the path of false promises.
他们会向您送出誓言，并告诉您您想听什么。他们要去治疗！他们是一个改变的人！他们现在意识到自己要责备部分！
不要相信炒作。这只是另一种控制策略。他们的真正目标是将您陷入飞陷圈，以便操纵游戏可以得到重视。
9. Charm Overload
Yes, people with NPD can be mean, vindictive, childish, and oppressively arrogant — but they can also charm the pants off people. Isn’t that part of what attracted you in the first place?
让您成为“朋友”或类似主张是最后的努力。帮自己一个忙，不要爱他们。这只是回到莫里维尔的门票。
自恋者不惜一切代价以牺牲他人为代价，而十分之9.8倍，他们无能为力。医生尚未解锁有效的NPD治疗，因此请尽力避免使用I-Can-Change-Them陷阱。分手的唤醒可能很粗糙，但是您很快就会降落在平静的水域。
If you need support getting through the storm, look for an NPD survival group online. They can be a huge help.
Good luck!
