It happens. You fell out of lust with your重要的另一半。
熄灭了火焰，但您仍然喜欢并尊重您的前伴侣作为伙伴。
所以现在你想知道how to stay friends after a breakup.
Is it even possible?
Fortunately, yes, it is.
但是，从恋人到朋友的平稳过渡需要一点boundary setting。
因此，今天，我们正在解开与前任朋友成为朋友的规则。
What's in this post:
与前任成为朋友是健康的吗？
与前任成为朋友是否健康？这取决于。
Was the relationship volatile? Is the other personal manipulative or toxic?
Will having them stay in your life cause difficulties?
您是出于错误的原因而坚持吗？如果您可以诚实地评估情况并回答所有这些问题“否”，那么以友谊向前发展可能是可以的。
If not, think long and hard before embarking down “Pal Path.”
用EX设置边界
设定个人限制是维持健康关系和良好心理健康的组成部分，但需要实践。
Successful boundary establishment involves five steps.
- Engage in Self-Reflection:人们通常会离开这一步，但这可能是最重要的。在指责其他人是问题之前，请先评估您在情况中的作用。您的错是一个促成因素吗？在进行下一步之前，请先考虑这个问题。
- 确定您的边界：Now is the time to determine your boundaries. A list of 11 suggestions is below. However, you know your relationship, so tailor them to your situation.
- 与您的前任讨论它们：The wrong thing to do is not tell the other person about your “new rules.” And you definitely shouldn’t dictate them in an authoritarian manner. After all, you’re not a jerk, right? Instead, have a friendly and thorough discussion with your ex about why you need to set some boundaries and then delineate them. Try to be as cheerful, upbeat, and kind as possible.
- Be Consistent:Once everything is set, stick to the plan. Blurring the lines does not help the situation.
- 将您的规则运送到社交媒体：请注意您的社交媒体行为。您的界限应在线和关闭。
How Do You Maintain Your Boundaries With Your Ex?
You probably landed here because you’re wondering如何与前任成为朋友。正如我们已经建立的那样，边界设置至关重要。但是在此之前，必须清理情感甲板。
How do you accomplish that? Here are the four steps.
- Grieve the Relationship:结束浪漫的关系就像死亡，哀悼其过去是适当的。
- 消除残留的感觉：摆脱挥之不去的多情附件是开始之前的重中之重friendship with your ex。It’s impossible to maintain healthy, platonic relationships with people when you’re still lugging around feelings for them.
- 培养自信：The next step is rebuilding your self-confidence. Insecurity can take us to dark places and cause us to act out — neither of which supports the development of a budding friendship.
- Determine Why You Want To Remain Friends:Be honest: Why do you want to remain friends with your ex? Is it because you’re afraid of losing them or genuinely like them? If it’s the former, lick your wounds and继续。
11 Boundaries For Being Friends With An Ex
我们已经解决了有关如何与前任保持朋友的一些一般性问题，并讨论了必要的准备工作。
Now, let’s examine the nuts and bolts of developing a friendship framework.
1. Stay Far Away From Their Love Life
If you want to remain friends, staying far from your ex’s love life is the number one rule.
浪漫不在你们两个的卡中，所以请把话题留在风中。更安全。
嫉妒通常是非理性的,虽然you separated amicably, the green-eyed monster may rear its nasty head if you become entangled in each other’s love lives.
当然，如果已经有几年了，而您彼此相处，那么关于您各自的恋人的随便对话就可以了。但是请记住，新合作伙伴也可能很难与您的前任共度时光— so be sensitive to their needs and emotions.
2.不要调情
不要通过调情来吸引命运。它可能会引发你们中的一个人的旧感觉，这会导致尴尬和LOP侧的关系。发生这种情况时，成为伙伴是一项挑战。
At first, this rule can be challenging to keep because you’re used to each other. Plus, it may be instinctual. But do your best to keep it under wraps.
3.不要跳回床
我们得到它。你的情绪for some loving, and your ex is “safer” than a one-night stand. So you think:Why not?Stop!
Do not pass go! Jumping into bed will only complicate matters. If one of you catches feelings again and the other doesn’t, a world of hurt awaits.
Plus, reinitiating intimacy smears lines, which only causes problems down the line.
4. Let Bygones Be Bygones
Grudges are heavy and have a way of distorting your perceptions. They fester, metastasize, and often explode when you insist on carrying them around. So take Elsa’s advice and let it go!
Remember that we all make mistakes and occasionally make terrible choices. If you want to hold on to a friendship with your ex, forgiveness is a key ingredient.
5. Give Each Other Space
When first transitioning from partners to friends, give each other space. Failing to do so will complicate matters. Instead of hanging out alone, plan group activities. Having other folks around eases potential tensions.
另外，无需每天互相打电话或发短信。也不要成为社交媒体缠扰者。
6.忽略仇恨者
There will always be people who will snarl and sneer and insist you shouldn’t attempt to befriend your ex.
They’ll regale you with stories about their former roommate’s cousin’s aunt who tried to do the same and ended up in a horrible situation.
看，你比其他任何人都更了解自己的关系。当然，有时候，您可能会失去观点，此时，亲密朋友的轻柔轻推可能是合适的。否则，消除负面情绪，让友谊开枪。
Hey, if you’re anything like Veronica and Tim of90-Day Fiance名望，您可能会发现自己的前爱好者在您的生活中比最好的朋友更适合。
More Related Articles
If You Want To Know If Your Ex Is Miserable Without You, Look For These 21 Signs
Is Your Ex Lurking Around On Your Social Media? 17 Signs They Are Trying To Get Your Attention
7. Keep Things Casual at First
从伴侣到朋友的道路通常会在您缓慢开始时效果最好。这类似于马拉松的沙发土豆训练。如果您在第一天拍打运动鞋并尝试运行8英里，那么您崩溃和燃烧的可能性接近100％。
一开始，步行，不要跑步。让事情随意。随着时间的流逝，您只会成为朋友会变得更好。
8. Establish Emotional Shields
Love, they say, is a “many-splendored thing” — and emotions are a “many-complicated thing.” When they go haywire, life can be bumpy. If the relationship was serious, it might be wise to enlist a therapist to help you sort through your feelings. If counseling isn’t your jam, consider diving into some self-help books.
The goal is to acquire tools to help you better navigate the situation and protect your self-confidence.
9. Keep Things Civil on Social Media
Social media can be dangerous when we let unwieldy emotions lead the way. Sometimes, when we’re inside our feelings — or have had too much to drink — we say things in public forums that would better left on the cutting room floor.
因此，如果您受到伤害，请建立自我界限并远离社交媒体，直到您再次感到自己。这将为您节省很多尴尬，使友谊能够以更健康的方式发展。
10. Don’t Be Overly Available
It may sound old-fashioned, but desperation doesn’t look good on anyone. Yes, we all go through it at some point or another, but it’s one of those things that turns people off.
如果您想与前任成为朋友，并且总是在他们的贝克和电话中，他们可能会尝试利用您的渴望，并开始像废话一样对待您。或者，他们可能会决定与您成为朋友是不值得的。
通过保持时间和空间的空间来使事情保持在龙骨上。
11.要灵活
这听起来可能是违反直觉的，但是灵活性是最后一个“边界” - 如果您甚至可以称呼它。框架很棒。规则很棒。
But being too rigid can also cause problems. The most important thing is to do what works for you!
Transitioning from partners to friends is absolutely possible if both parties are game. Create a playbook and stick to it as closely as possible, but also make room for life’s little hiccups.
保持积极的前景和目标。如果这样做，您可能只会发现自己和一个好朋友在一起。
祝你好运！
