Emotional cheatinghas become这relationship buzzword in recent years.
There are numerous questions about情绪不忠以及许多解释。
However, even after years of research, the definition of emotional infidelity is unclear.
One study in the季度女性心理学将情感的不忠定义为“与所说的关系的关系的发展……。主要关系的协议。”
And while each relationship has different limits of acceptable behavior, everyone agrees that certain types of emotional intimacy between friends cross boundaries for people already in a committed relationship.
Understanding Emotional Infidelity
Emotional infidelity is a modern concept. The term can be misused to justify the unaddressed problems of a partnership.
有时，健康的友谊受到了损害或标记为情感作弊，而不是对关系恶化的责任承担责任。
However, infidelity occurs even in the best of relationships. A recent study showed almost 10% of男人作弊。What was surprising was the why. One recentstudy经过Chapman University in Orange, California, revealed that people cheat 90% of the time because of a lack of emotional connection.
- Most emotional affairs start as friendships,making it difficult to discern when a line has been crossed. These relationships often cross the boundaries of a healthy, platonic relationship, breaching the trust within the primary relationship.
- A seemingly innocent, friendly connection can suddenly transform与romantic flair，令人兴奋的保密和情感紧张。情绪不忠也可能包括由于原始关系中未满足的需求或在临时情况下填补空白的愿望而引起的情感依赖。
- One key distinction between an emotional affair vs. friendship是亲密关系的层次和形式及其对关系的影响。除了身体或性亲密, familiarity can include intellectual and emotional closeness, making identification difficult.
Commonly, people build intense emotional intimacy with a guy friend or a girlfriend through communication.
There is also a willingness to share intimate details about their:
- 伙伴
- home life
- 儿童和家庭
- 个人目标
- 专业决定
And often, these decisions or facts are intentionally kept from their partner.
诚然，这些行为类似于男人和女人如何与最好的朋友和终身的知己一起行动。
但是当应用于emotional cheating，存在细微的差异。
情感作弊与友谊：11个关键差异
There are some tangible differences when categorizing a relationship as friendship versus emotional infidelity. Many psychotherapists feel, at the very least, that the line is crossed when a朋友begins to replace your partner in everyday life.
Here are some key differences to identify emotional infidelity.
1.轻描淡写的意义
紧密柏拉图式（非 -sexual）友谊和情感上的事物是，参与动态关系的人会齐心协力，以淡化或保持其投入的时间和亲密秘密。
Constant declarations of “we are just friends” or “he is just a work friend” may be valid but may indicate a more complicated relationship.
One of the most common references that demonstrates the fluid nature of social interaction is the reference to “work wife” or “work husband.”
2.违反信任
有意识地在主要伙伴关系之外建立情感或智力关系可以被视为违反信任。
Boundaries are different for everyone and can change throughout a relationship. Committed partners must decide what it means to cross a line.
Personal feelings are often a practical litmus test to determine when a line is crossed. If either partner感觉like an extra-relationship bond is a negative factor, chances are it is.
3.无法控制的兴奋
There is an undeniable freshness in new things and meeting new people. Conversations on the phone or even seeing a person’s name in an email provide exhilaration, a tangible excitement.
Curiously, when talking about an emotional affair, this type of connection is reported by many, regardless of physical presence.
4.分享个人信息
个人信息通常保留给我们最亲密的关系。
的一个主要情感欺骗的迹象sharing intimate details that have not been shared with a partner or that would otherwise be considered inappropriate outside of the immediate family.
选择一个新朋友作为首选的知己，而不是配偶，可以越过一条界限，并为长期恋爱关系拼写麻烦。
5. Lacking Sexual Intimacy
Not all relationships are rooted in sex. Attraction, yes. But not necessarily sex.
情绪的不忠可能不一定会改变主要关系中亲密关系的频率，而是在情感水平上可能存在切实的解离或降低。
Conversely, an emotional affair often does not have a physical component.
6. Making Comparisons
Healthy relationships are built on trust. Emotional affairs erode that trust by changing a partner’s perspective.
通常,比较之间的主要rtner and the infiltrator. These comparisons range from questioning the level of support, emotional strength, listening skills, or physical attributes.
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7. Becoming Defensive
当被某事捕获时，成为防御性或拒绝知识是人的本性。
Individuals engaged in emotional infidelity may exhibit defensive or hyper-sensitive behavior when asked about a relationship with another person. They may become instantly angry.
However, people don’t often become defensive about an innocent friendship.
8.失去利息
Inappropriate interactions with a new friend often reduce intimacy and the overall time spent with a primary partner.
It is not uncommon that minimizing time spent with a spouse further fuels a growing dissociation, resulting in that partner feeling ignored, jealous, and unloved.
Ultimately the needs of a primary partner become unmet, creating a destructive spiral for the relationship.
9. Embracing Vagueness
诚实始终是最好的政策。至少，这就是我们教孩子的东西。直接答案和谎言之间的灰色区域随着成年人而生长。在关系中，定义模糊。
感觉似乎很复杂。对于那些参与情感事件的人来说，很容易对新关系的性质或与他人花费的时间含糊不清。
When someone cheats emotionally, they often embrace vagueness to avoid confrontation.
10。Hiding Communication
Recent研究已经报告了社交媒体使用对浪漫关系的不利影响。技术和社交媒体促进了这种关系不忠，例如坠入爱河，调情和揭示个人细节。
隐藏社交媒体交流也很容易。隐藏电子邮件或与关系朋友擦除联系，因为您不希望伴侣，家人或同事看到情绪不忠的指标。
Wanting to keep communications secret enhances the thrill of the relationship while concealing it from social censure. This secrecy can be as simple as deleting texts on the phone. It can also involve password-protecting your phone or computer.
11。Using Endearing Terms
Relationships thrive or fall on communication. One of the signs of a loving relationship is choosing endearing terms or nicknames for those closest to us.
某些词（例如“蜂蜜”或“甜心”）在社会上是为我们直接圈子的人所理解的。
As a primary relationship sputters, it is not uncommon for these terms of endearment to but used in a developing emotional connection.
How to Know When You’re Crossing the Line Between Friendship and Love
Many feel emotional infidelity involves actions that break the traditional boundaries of a relationship, including texting, flirting, interactions on social media, or drinking after work.
Others draw the line at physical involvement or declarations of love.
情绪不忠对许多人关注。在查普曼大学的研究中，研究人员发现，有65％的女性和46％的男性发现情绪事务比性不忠更令人沮丧。
To determine the boundaries and viability of a primary relationship, consider how you feel about these limiting factors.
- RomanticNeeds.You don’t necessarily need to be sexting to achieve excitement or arousal. Even in a platonic, non-sexual relationship, there can be idealized romantic thoughts and feelings.
- Lies and Deceit.Meeting new people is exciting. But if the relationship is something your spouse or partner cannot share, then something is probably not quite right. One of the best ways to assess when you are close to crossing the line is intuition. If you have to ask, then there may be an issue.
- Emotional Support.仔细观察谁提供情感和个人支持。如果您更愿意与同事谈论自己的主要关系或生活中的其他亲密细节，则情感作弊可能是一个因素。
- 情绪投资。If you would rather spend time with a new friend or actively avoid making time for a long-time partner, that is a sign of emotional infidelity.
友谊始终基于吸引力 - 美学，智力或情感。我们遇到了我们钦佩的人的成就，善良和美丽。
We are social creatures, and new people add zest and richness to life. But when an attraction turns into an obsession or an affair, it can harm everyone.
An inappropriate emotional connection can be as destructive to a committed relationship as a physical encounter.
