Do you wake up in alousy moodnearly every day and ask yourself, “Why am I so unhappy?”
Before you even get out of bed, you feel stressed and negative.
The world simply does not look like ahappy place在你的头脑中。
Like most of us, you may have some legitimately difficult things going on in your life.
Maybe you’re worried about money, and that isundoubtedly stressful.
Or you might have problems in one of your relationships or an issue at work.
Even though your life isn’t terrible and your problems aren’t devastating, it feels like a dark cloud follows you around everywhere, and you just can’t shake it.
- My life is miserable.
- Do you often wonder, “Why am I so unhappy?”
- What causes a person to be unhappy?
- 1. You compare yourself to others.
- 2. You dwell on the negative.
- 3. You worry.
- 4. You’re holding on to anger.
- 5. You’re in debt.
- 6. You surround yourself with unhappy people.
- 7. You’re bored.
- 8. You hate your job.
- 9. You don’t like your appearance.
- 10. You don’t have a significant other.
- 11. You’re in a bad relationship.
- 12. You aren’t paying attention to your health.
- 13. You’re too focused on money and material things.
- 14. You have a victim mentality.
- 15. You’re a perfectionist.
- How do I stop being so unhappy?
- Is it OK to be unhappy?
My life is miserable.
许多人醒来,这种感觉时刻they open their eyes. Every morning begins with anxiety, dissatisfaction, and negativity.
They can’t understand why things are so bad, why nothing is fun and enjoyable, and why they are so dissatisfied with life.
Of course, some people feel unhappy and negative because they are clinically depressed. They are suffering from an illness that impacts chemicals in their brains that affect mood.
Depression is a serious condition that requires medical treatment, so be sure you know thesymptoms of depression.
But for this discussion, we’re referring to generalunhappiness— not clinical depression. (Although chronic unhappiness can lead to depression.)
Do you often wonder, “Why am I so unhappy?”
Maybe you feel happiness is a random and fleeting feeling. Only when something really “good” happens in your life do you feel happy. Your happiness is totally dependent on outside events.
But we all know that sustained happiness comes from within. At least that’s what we’ve heard.
When you are in a state of near constant negativity and dissatisfaction with life, it’s hard to believe that happiness comes from within.
- How can it come from within when within you feel so unhappy?
- How can you “make yourself” feel happy when you aren’t?
It may not be possible to “make yourself” feel happy. But you can set up the conditions that foster happiness — and you can eliminate the conditions, thoughts, and behaviors that foster sadness and feeling miserable. Let’s look at these for a minute.
What causes a person to be unhappy?
If you are frequently unhappy, you may have thinking habits and life conditions that contribute to your unhappy life.
Here are 15 top reasons you create more dissatisfaction and negativity in your life.
1. You compare yourself to others.
The more we define ourselves by what other people have, how they look, or what they have achieved, the sadder we become.
The constant longing for something different and the feelings of jealousy that comparison creates will agitate you and make you feel unhappy.
How often do you compare yourself? Pay attention to this sadness and begin to drop thisbad habit.
2. You dwell on the negative.
You have a bad habit of ruminating on negative possibilities or situations. We all have a “negativity bias,” tending to focus more on unpleasant thoughts, interactions, and events.
When you don’t resist this bias and allow yournegative thoughtsfree reign, you make it increasingly difficult to feel happy. Your feelings always follow the trajectory of your thoughts.
3. You worry.
Just like dwelling on negative thoughts, worry will propel you down a rabbit hole of despair.
Worry is anxiety about a future you can’t control. You feel helpless and hopeless because you anticipate bad outcomes even when there’s no evidence of them.
你担心你无法控制的情况about and your sense of helplessness prevents you from feeling positive about anything.
4. You’re holding on to anger.
You may have someone in your life who has hurt or offended you, and you just can’t let it go. You feel wronged, disrespected, or treated unkindly.
You think about the person or situation constantly and feel increasingly put out by it. You didn’t deserve it. It shouldn’t have gone down the way it did. They need to apologize right now.
It’s hard to feel happy when you are filled with anger and resentment. These negative feelings take over your thoughts, leading to bitterness and irritability.
5. You’re in debt.
Money worries can feel overwhelming and cloud an otherwise happy life with worry and grief.
When you’re constantly reminded that you owe money, you feel bad about yourself and unhappy with life. Just beginning the process of paying off your debt will make you feel lighter and happier.
Need help with it? ReadThe Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness.
6. You surround yourself with unhappy people.
We are products of our environments. If you are surrounded by people who are negative and unhappy, they are going to infect you with their mood.
Identify the people in your life who are frequently unhappy, and try to spend less time with them. Seek out people who have a positive and happy demeanor and attitude.
7. You’re bored.
When you don’t have something going on in your life that is fun, engaging, or challenging, you will feelbored and uninspired. Life will feel flat and meaningless.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to find something interesting to do with your time. Call a friend. Start walking or running. Join a book club.
Staying active and around other people is a great antidote to unhappiness.
8. You hate your job.
Since we spend so many hours a day at work, if you hate your job, you are spending most of your day unhappy. But you do have the power to change that.
What is it you hate about your job? Is there anything you can change about it? If not, then start looking for another job. Just giving yourself permission to look will give you a happiness boost.
9. You don’t like your appearance.
In this youth and beauty-focused culture, it’s not surprising so many people feel unhappy about the way they look.
It’s hard to feel attractive when the standards for attractiveness have been set so unrealistically high. Look around you, and you’ll notice that most people are simply average in appearance (especially compared to models and celebrities).
Make the most of your appearance by taking care of yourself, exercising, and dressing well. Look in the mirror every morning and tell yourself you love and accept yourself just as you are.
10. You don’t have a significant other.
Everyone wants that special person in their lives, the one love who makes us feel happy and complete. When you are alone in a world of couples, life can be pretty lonely.
If you find you are spending a lot of time alone or with couples, it’s time to find some single friends. Join single’s clubs or meet-ups, sign up for a dating service, join a gym where singles hang out.
And while you are looking for your true love, appreciate all of the benefits of being single.
11. You’re in a bad relationship.
Those who are in a relationship can become very unhappy if the relationship starts to sour. If you’re constantly thinking, “Why am I so unhappy in my relationship?” then you can count on your life being pretty bleak until you sort it out.
When you’re married or in a committed partnership, your world revolves around your partner and the health of your relationship. When things go south, your life feels like a mess.
You may constantly feel tense and angry or wounded and unloved. You may worry that the relationship is going to fall apart or that your partner will leave you — or that you need to leave him or her.
12. You aren’t paying attention to your health.
If you feel bad physically, it will take a toll on your state of mind.
If you don’t get enough sleep, if you are spending too many hours working, if you haven’t addressed a chronic health issue, you are going to feel depleted and unhappy.
Your physical health can impact everything else in your life, so do what needs to be done to get healthy.
13. You’re too focused on money and material things.
The longing for more money and more toys is the cause of so much dissatisfaction and unhappiness in life.
Money and things might provide a temporary boost of happiness, but then you quickly become bored and long for the next thing or a higher income.
Place more emphasis ongood relationships, experiences, and personal growth.
14. You have a victim mentality.
You may have had some traumatic or difficult situations in your past — situations that merited feeling unhappy and depressed.
But your trauma around those events has infected your life for years or even decades. You’ve become so attached to being a victim that you’ve forgotten how to take control of your life and create the conditions for the happiness you long for.
It may take some work with a therapist to overcome this roadblock, but you can heal and step into your own power to make your life what you want it to be.
15. You’re a perfectionist.
It’s hard to be happy when you are never good enough. You are deeply uncomfortable with your flaws and failures and can’t be satisfied until you’re perfect.
The harder you try to mold yourself and your environment into the ideal picture you envision, the more stressed and anxious you become. As you realize you can’t achieve perfection, you grow extremely unhappy and exhausted.
Self-acceptance and self-compassion are your only exit ramps away from this impossible mindset.
How do I stop being so unhappy?
In addition to eliminating conditions from your life that foster unhappiness, you can also begin to add conditions that have been proven to boost our happiness levels.
In her book,The How of Happiness, Dr. Sonja Lyubomirsky reveals her research on what makes people feel happy. Here are some of the happiness-fostering strategies she outlines.
1. Count your blessings.
Focus your thoughts on all of the good things and people you have in your life. Express sincere gratitude out loud or by journaling your feelings every day in a gratitude journal.
Focusing on the positive will actually change your brain chemistry and boost happiness feelings.
2. Cultivate optimism.
Actively begin to change your outlook from negative to positive. Expect good things to happen, even if you have to fake it at first.
Write a vision for yourself of your ideal life circumstances and review it regularly. Again, practicing optimism will begin to change your brain and feelings.
3. Practice acts of kindness.
When you do good things for others and see how it positively impacts them, you feel happier. You know this instinctively, but it’s nice to know research has proven it.
Take a meal to a sick neighbor. Say “Thank you” to the check-out person at the grocery store. Lend a hand to a friend who is moving.
A little bit of kindness goes a long way in lifting your mood and increasing your feelings of happiness.
4. Nurture your relationships.
Our relationships are key to our happiness — not just our romantic relationships but those with our friends, family, and children.
Who are the people most important in your life? Who would you like to get closer to?
Begin to cultivate and actively work on improving your relationships.
- Learn how to communicate better.
- Resolve any lingering conflicts.
- Take more time to spend with these people.
- Learn how to listen actively so they feel heard.
- Tell them how much you appreciate them.
Researchhas proven that having close and healthy relationships is the number one predictor of happiness.
5. Relive happy times mentally.
Just thinking about happy events from the past can make you feel happier.
Instead of letting your “negativity bias” run rampant, choose to think about what has made you happy in the past.
Take some time every day to review past joys either in your mind or by writing in a journal.
Try to remember and feel the feelings you experienced during those joyful times.
6. Practice forgiveness.
When we hold on to a hurt or agrudge, it’s like a thorn that continues to poke us and undermine our joy.
Nothing good comes from staying angry or hurt. Let it go. Forgive. Move on.
Even if the offending person hasn’t apologized or accepted responsibility, don’t allow their lack of consideration to infect you.
You have the power and the choice to forgive regardless of how others behave.
7. Practice your religion, spirituality, or personal growth.
Researchhas shown that people who are active in their faith or personal growth are happier.
They are focused on improvement and something bigger than themselves that removes them from focusing on ego-based concerns.
An essential part of personal growth is recognizing that happiness is an inside job. When you actively pursue your personal evolution, you come to this realization sooner than others might.
Is it OK to be unhappy?
Everyone is unhappy from time to time — and often with good reason. Life is fraught with conflict, disappointments, and challenges. Being unhappy about these situations is natural and is often a motivator to make positive and necessary change.
You don’t need tofeel guilty about being unhappyor pretend to be happy when you’re not. Social media, in particular, can make you feel like you’re the only person who doesn’t have an amazing, joy-filled life. And this makes you feel even worse.
However, remaining unhappy for weeks or months is not healthy. It can lead to inertia, loneliness, and depression. Use your unhappiness as a clue to what’s going on in your inner world (or outer world) that is stealing your joy.
Then take action to address the root cause of your discontent. Practice some of the strategies outlined above to begin to turn your mood around and get unstuck.
More Related Articles:
Positive Affirmations: 101 Life-Changing Thoughts To Practice Daily
21 Happy Thoughts To Help You Snap Out Of A Negativity Slump
31 Fun Things To Do By Yourself
When you’re unhappy with life, you can make changes.
If you find yourself in a state of constant unhappiness and dissatisfaction in life, begin the work of eliminating unhappiness fostering conditions and implementing the strategies for feeling happier.
Keep a journal of your efforts and rank your level of happiness (1 is very unhappy and 10 is very happy) every day.
As you become skilled at “reconditioning” your life, you should see a dramatic improvement in your happiness.
Let’s start a conversation about feeling frequently unhappy. What has been your experience with long-term unhappiness? How have you moved past it?
Excellent article Barrie! Finding happiness is an inside job! I think you’ve hit on all the points. So many people focus on the negative instead of looking for all the positive that is there in front of them. As a society we have such a negativity bias. So much weight and attention is place on negative events and positive things are overlooked or taken for granted. I’m a Happiness Teacher and my passion is to teach these concepts to others. It is possible to Retrain the Brain on how to focus our attention a different way!
Hi Nina,
So happy to meet you here! I look forward to seeing your site and work. Thank you so much for your comments. Yes we are a negativity-oriented society — especially in the media. It is an infectious disease that spreads from person to person. But just awareness is often enough to help shift us out of the negativity cycle of thinking and start spreading positivity.
I have two things to share.
1) Is the happiness equation which is simply that your happiness level is equal to the difference between your expectations and reality. Here’s youtube video on it:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bYvmjdqpT7Y
2) I really enjoyed the book “The Happiness Advantage” by Shawn Achor. He provides a great summary of the book in his TED talk athttp://www.ted.com/talks/shawn_achor_the_happy_secret_to_better_work.html
Thank you so much for sharing these resources Kelly! Great stuff.
Kelly
The link to Shawn Achor’s Tedtalk was SO helpful.
I have something practica to apply to my life that’s proven to help!!
Thank You!!
I found I became much happier when I accepted responsibility for my own happiness. I was so focused on helping others that I neglected myself. Realising the only person’s happiness I was responsible for was my own was the release of a huge burden.
the article is really nice what it said is all true and actually everyone knows all the stuff discussed here but the thing is they have to feel it inside and start doing something about the negative surroundings around them. this article is a good start for people who wanna discover something and needed a boost . keep doing it
I love this article so much!
Thank you so much for sharing these insights and advices.
Keep on keeping on!
Love & Light
This is very timely & useful for me Barrie. Thanks.
Hi Barrie,
It’s a beautiful insight when I read your article. Being happy is so easy if you just follow the conditions you have mentioned. Its wonderful to get connected to a person with such beautiful thoughts. I will definitely be looking forward to read more of your articles. I too am working at an Inspirational Training Organisation called Lifeschool. Do visit my website too for inspirational and true stories.
Love always,
Priya.
I’m glad to see you this article written by nice, thank you!I hope I can become happier! I come from China。
Im 15 and i have been unhappy for a while now. My family and friends notice it and it makes them sad, mad, and unhappy. I know that im young and that i should be happy but i hate my appearance and others do too. I find myself comparing myself to others countless times a day. Why aren’t i pretty why don’t people like me why dont boys like me. I care so much about what people think and i have terrible self esteem.
Hi Caley,
I am so sorry you are feeling unhappy in your life right now. I have two daughters who have gone through the same feelings when they were you age, so I completely understand your feelings. At 15, how your peers view you and how you compare to others is something that feels really important. And it seems so much value is placed on appearance, especially for girls. However, the emphasis on these things is lessened as you get older and as others around you are more mature and see the value in more important things. Real happiness comes from real, deep friendships and relationships and from accomplishing something in your life. Put your focus on achieving something — whether it’s your school work, a hobby, or an extracurricular activity. Work toward excellence in whatever that thing happens to be. Achievement definitely affords self-esteem and happiness. In the meantime, look for friends who don’t put so much emphasis on superficial things. They are out there. Things will get better, I promise.
I don’t no i’m alawys unhappy nd depression bcoz i’m job less person.how it possible i’m alawys be happy pls suggest
You never feel unhappy or depressed till the faces around make you feel sad..and really such relatives can’t be replaced from your life..its a common fact..
I loved your article !!!
I keep feeling unhappy about so many things of late.
I keep comparing my life to other people’s and its a source of constant dissatisfaction to me to know they are so happy and im not !!
I feel like runnin away.
但我现在想尝试更快乐与what i have
我认为我们的生活(一定程度上)的形状entally froma young age. What’s ingrosed into us becomes a part of us as we grow older. It is important to give your children the right education, attitude and confedence. As we grow older, we learn new things and have different experiences in life and form relationships with people/partners and it is absulutely true, that you need to be with happy people that give you the right advise and confedence, instead of putting you down. Anyhow I am in an unhappy narriage where I beleive that there us no future but I carry in because my wife doesn’t want to break up….we have 3 children and I love them to bits but I cannot love my wife (we were arrange married).
Hi I am 35 and feel like a ciomplete failure, I have it all lovely kids and a great husband. I have brought him down with my failings. I have no true friends feel really lost. Everyday I remember all the missed opportunities, I recently
I feel that wat too I guess it’s my own fault but I had a bad dustier who kicked me out of my own family … So sad today people can be cruel we all make mistakes they need to be forgiven …. No one gets out of here alive Prayer has not helped me …..? Just keep going I guess
Why is there an emphasis on spirituality in modern psychology?
Also, by having gratitude, does this mean it’s “wrong” to desire or achieve more?
I agree largely with the eliminating points. But not with the sustaining points. Maybe it’s just me, but then it seems to be promoting religion. Since when does science promote morals? lol..
I would say to sustain happiness is to have a life vision, have good relationships (platonic, romantic or sexual), be active mentally and physically, remove oneself from negative people and situations, and have good confidence/self-esteem.
The question is how though. Everyone on here tells you what you should be thinking but have no helpful strategies.
我真希望你发布可能是正确的。If only. I tried for ten years to have a baby and when I was blessed with my little darling on the day of her birth she had to be cut out of me to save her life. Just in the nic of time then 11 months later I had a 11cm tumor cut out of me which took away half my pancreas and my spleen. I spent a long time in hospital with repeat admissions. This happened only 3 months ago and I spend everyday in fear unable to let go to enjoy my baby who I waited so long for. Everyday is consumed with unhappiness instead of the joy of my babys first years. I feel so desolate and so wronged. Some days I don’t even recognise my own thoughts they are so dark and filled with fear as to what can happen to me now. I just can’t let go to enjoy my baby and that fills me with the greatest unhappiness I gave ever known
Dear Sam,
我知道这听起来像这样一个软弱的声明,但hang in there, things will get better. I remember the first few months after my son was born. I really wanted him before he was born. I had a fairly stressful pregnancy which resulted in high blood pressure/preeclampsia and after that I was pretty depressed. I would get the unwelcome scary thoughts and then I would feel terrible that I would let the thoughts would creep in. I have since learned that these thoughts were not my fault. That was 9 and a half years ago. My son is a strong, healthy, kid and I am here to enjoy it. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You are no doubt very tired and your poor body has been through a lot. Your daugher will be fine and you will have plenty of time to enjoy her in the next few years. Right now she needs her Mom to keep going and get healthy. You and your daughter have survived and will continue to survive. It takes a long time to heal but you WILL heal. Also babies at this age can be kind of boring and it can be lonely for Moms. And the lack of sleep doesn’t help either.
I second that, with a similar experience. I had all of that, plus a husband who left me while I was in the hospital. I am unhappy now, and looking for answers, but for totally different reasons.
I love your article. I am 26. I was involved in a unhealthy relationship with my childs father. It was verbal and mental abuse. I felt bullied in this situation. I had post partum depression after having my daughter. But now since shes 1 & her father and I are no longer together. I still am unhealthy, depressed help me plz.
Well I have been unhappy and depressed my whole life even when I’m doing things I love.i just sit and stare and can’t wait till its over with.My family says I have a distant look in my eyes I’m never happy.And yes I do take medicine and I do see someone, it does no good.There are people like me that have never been molested or anything and are still unhappy …I am pretty much the walking depressed:(
That sounds like a chemical imbalance of some sort, what with the irrational gloom. There are also certain chronic illnesses that may affect hormones or other chemicals, and this can cause depression, mood swings, etc. I suffered the same thing for seventeen years until my stepdad took me with a doctor and I was diagnosed with PCOS. This causes depression and mood swings… do you have any chronic conditions, and have you gotten a hormone test? Have you checked on all your chemicals? Hehe
I feel you are just like me ??
谢谢你的文章,写的很好,是的I found my self unhappy because of people around me, I have a good job but I have a friend and Partner always broken my day, sometimes I feel so bad, I regret why I have to meet with people who always give me bad time, but at the same time I can,t remove them from my life…..it was make me given up and try my best to accept the situation, wish me luck
Im 35, brazilian, system analyst, good job, comming from a poor family, unhappy all time since 7 years old, until sleeping sad, my dream are sad, thinking about suicide since childhood, wishing death every second.
Dont. It doesn’t and won’t help. Email me if you I understand and think the same way you do. May be its possible to get help from someone..I know I have tried talking to someone, they just don’t get to the root of the problem and it feels so useless.
I have done the same thing and still no answer
This is a great article and some interesting comments too, albeit a few sad ones. I often feel unhappy. Very lonely. Hating myself. Why is that? I have a lovely husband (we’re more like friends really and often question our marriage but know it could be worse!), 2 fantastic children, live in a great place in Devon. I work and enjoy it. But I am unhappy. I personally feel that it stems from my upbringing (I could write a book about this!) but still, this is no excuse. I never thought I’d have a life like this, being married, living in a nice house with children and 2 cats and having some lovely friends. I am still negative but I know it’s only me/you that also suffer from daily unhappiness, that can change this.
I am currently experiencing many unhappy thoughts, and it pains me. I am married with 4 lovely children, my husband is very helpful and actively involved in raising our 4 young children, and I have a good career in education. But, I am negative and critical to a fault. I agree with the comments about family and upbringing – I can recall listening to my mother and her sisters judge and criticize other members of our family when they were not present, and as I grew up, I felt like contributing to those conversations was a way of being validated by my family. Today, I criticize my husband and am very controlling with my children. I want everything to be done just so, and if it isn’t, I get upset. I am worried about my husband leaving (although he says he never would), but I am also worried that my children will lack self-esteem because of my negative attitude. Although I am conscious of my nitpicking ways, I just can’t seem to turn things around. Perhaps journaling would be a good start…
im always sad even if i have everything i ever wanted
Great article!
I am unhappy as well. I work full-time and I am around really nice people, but the frustration comes from the uncertainty in my life. I have no broad vision of what I want to do with my life and where I want to go. I know that currently where I am I don’t like it and it is making me unhappy. My parents as well and the people around me make me feel depressed. The location I live in are full of people who are judgmental and racist, and I am from a different country so maybe that’s why. but at the end of the day I want to feel happy and glad that I am alive. Not dead and depressed! So I started selling skin care products hopefully this changes my life somewhat.
ACTUALLY…it does me a lot of harm to remember happy times, because when I am unhappy…where did the happy go? Life overall is less painful and more content now, but I rarely have happy times like I used to. And I had friends back then, some real friends and some just people to hang out with, but now…I have acquaintances and the one friend I have can never do anything or go anywhere.
For some of us we realize we have made all the wrong decisions in our lives and we just can’t find a good “next step” right now. It’s horrible. Especially when you find out someone loved you back but the two of you just didn’t make the right decisions and give things a try. Or the one person you went out with who didn’t lie or abuse you, you dumped because you genuinely thought you would be a burden to him.
Sometimes there are mistakes that over time, just get you to a point where it’s just too late.
I really loved your article. Sometimes, I feel really unhappy because I feel trapped by my circumstances, likea slave to my boss and family, and that I want something more, but can never seem to get it.
I think people are unhappy because of the feeling that society gives certain people based upon stereotypes. There are alot of people whom like to divide others and lift their own advantages. I have a baby or I’m skinny or I’m multicultural so I can be advantage. This makes others whom are genuine think that he or she should be ridiculed in society due to a divided society. Sick.
It’s easier said than done!
I have been depressed since I was 13. Just now at the age of 43 I have started taking meds for it but they don’t seem to help. I crave family support but my family is too busy with their religion and new families they’ve created. My mother only calls me when she needs something.
I am a man, 36 years old, I have an ok job as an engineer…not a great job not a super laim one..I make somewhere around 2800 a month. I am single never been married I mostly have friends with benefits relationships, easy women, single moms, older ladies pre menopause high sex drive etc etc…That’s actually the only part in my life that is ok.
糟透了,我可怜的,文化,the world around me is focused on religious values, Fox news..also some liberal values I hate like high taxes, I hate the fact that the world around me goes to shit financially and educationally scientifically we become reduced. the people who are in government are lacking education and substance ..they are just very ambitious…but they are zero’s when it comes to understanding the society their role and our role..They do not serve, they are tricking us!..I feel taken advantage and oppressed by my government ..how can I overcome that…Voting is not working I have been trying that since I was 18…please give me a better more efficient option! I only see violence as an an answer..you know the Thomas Jefferson words! Should I get my gun and start a riot?
my problem is negative thinking and badluck
i am not getting apprpriate responce means i am preparing well for xams but am not getting job..so un happy.help me out
happiness comes from the heart and not just what you have, you can be the richest and be unhappy and the poorest can be happy to have everlasting joy you have to be with god
Everyone I believe I have an idea. I have suffered a rather constant, pressing unhappiness my whole life, with a diffi/ult family environment and a father who began to behave inappropriately around me as I hit puberty. But I would love to set up a little group somewhere, a forum or something where we can be friends and learn about each other’s problems, and provide support and new perspectives. Would anyone do this? It’s just that there are a lot of unhappy people here… it seems tragic how alone we all are.
Yes I would totally do that!
“You don’t have a significant other. Everyone wants that special person in their lives, the one love who makes us feel happy and complete.”
Simply not true. In many cases, I would say it was the spouse CAUSING the stress. One who doesn’t understand money and how to manage debt, one who has no since of intimacy, and leaves their partner out in the cold.
A significant other is NOT a critical feature of happiness, I would actually insist quite the opposite.
I am 40 years old and legally blind. I can not remember a time when I was happy. My childhood was messed up by abuse , depression and anxiety. Now married with one child yet I have never been in love. It seems that the only emotions I can feel is misery and unhappiness. From age 8 I have been in and out of hospital and already being treated for depression. Meds never helped.
Anyway I somehow managed to get through my childhood, and into an adult life just as miserable. As an adult the misery and emptiness became more noticeable and I began trying to fill that with meaningless relationships. Sex always felt good until orgasm and then its like instant dread and misery. I also tended to delude myself into thinking that this thing or that will make me happy, but off course nothing ever made me happy.
I was always high functioning until recently when I had to stop driving due to my poor vision, caused by Retinitus Pigmentosa. Suddenly its like the dam burst, because the anxiety and unhappiness overpowered me to the point that I have become non functioning. I hardly ever leave home and if I am forced to, I have to program myself days in advance. I also hate talking on the phone and avoid phone calls, making or receiving them!
I really don’t see the point of going on. Why should I endure this misery? I always managed to put off suicide thinking that tomorrow will be different. Well tomorrow is always different but im always the same! Please forgive my poor grammar and punctuation,
Wow! Great article. I’ve been down myself lately & this helped me see a way out. Thank you. I’m only 17 years old & I feel like am 30 who is unhealthy, over weight, single, & really unhappy. I will definetly keep this article in mind when I’m feeling down.
I’m struggling with this. I was hurt by my husband. I’m trying to move forward but have become an insecure, controlling, lifeless person. Everything I had that made me happy like work, friends, hobbies all became meaningless because “I” became meaningless when I was betrayed and hurt so deeply. I’ve done counseling and medications for depression. I’ve found the issue is my circumstances more than brain chemistry. It’s my newly formed negative habits that reinforce my new dreadfulness. I don’t know if I should leave but I’m now severely insecure and codependent obsessive or if I just need an attitude adjustment. Multiple therapists haven’t helped. I still take medications but I’m convinced it’s my negative disposition. I need an escape and feel completely lost. I will try to take these tips, some I’ve heard before, and create a daily mantra. Constantly thinking about the past surely isn’t helping. Maybe I just need to have some self discipline and do what I know in my heart is right and stop doing what I know is wrong.
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I see nothing in these posts about living someplace you hate and that increases the misery in your life. That is my problem. I have never been a happy person but living in a place that I hate is just about more than I can take. I hate to get up in the mornings, it is hard to face another day here. I am disappointed in the people here. It is said, you can decide to be happy. I want to ask,”how.” I am journaling but it only takes me a baby step toward where I would like to be.
Chronically unhappy since childhood, due to cheerless abusive mother who was anorexic and depressed, and constantly chaotic family/ job/ living/ health situations. Alcoholism in recent years, seem to have had health/ emotional problems ever since puberty. Hormones have wrecked my life.
Just got over a bout of shingles which made me feel like death, it has been a long recovery. Need to find a job/ home in the next month or I’m stuffed.