你如何与认为自己是的丈夫打交道总是对的?
All you have to do is suggest his behavior or his言语是有害的或不合适，他打开你。
对他来说，一切都是your过错。您是“反应过度”或“成为伪君子” or “seeing problems where none exist.”
Except you know, he’s wrong.
而且您厌倦了丈夫对待您的方式。
你能做什么？
What's in this post:
Why Does My Husband Think He Never Does Anything Wrong?
最近，您的自言自语令人沮丧。实际上，这是残酷的。除了“我的丈夫认为他是完美的”和“我的丈夫对我无关紧要的对待我”，您会想着自己，“也许我am问题”或“如果这是我能希望的最好的？”
Mostly, though, you want to know why your husband, who was supposed to be your best friend, treats you the way he does—as if your main人生的目的is to make him feel good.
We have a few ideas, but you know him better. So, which of the following make the most sense to you?
- He’s a perfectionist.And you don’t meet his expectations;
- 他是自恋者.He may honestly believe he can do no wrong;
- He doesn’t care about the relationship.And he’s already checked out;
- 他不尊重你.您对他感到失望，因此必须受苦；
- 他否认关于主要的事情（不忠，财务困难等）；
- 他是下一级竞争- 即使和你在一起。他需要获胜；
- 他在补偿因为他自己的不安全感和自尊心低；
- He’s not used to being corrected —let alone having to apologize;
- 他没有解决的童年问题。And he refuses to acknowledge them;
- He takes you for granted而且并没有打扰您通过您的眼睛看到事物。
不管他的原因是什么，改变他的行为更好他的responsibility, not yours.
All you can do is recognize his behavior for what it is and choose to相信你应该得到更好的因为你这样做。
如何与认为自己没错的丈夫打交道
现在，您对他为什么表现得好像没有做错事了，现在该考虑您的选择了。
Your next steps will depend on how long you’ve lived with this—and what you’ve already tried.
1.不要责怪自己的行为。
You need to understand, first of all, that his words and actions are not your fault.
He may try to shift the blame onto you or dismiss your concerns as paranoia,妒忌, or selfishness, but you have a right to want an equal and loving partnership.
需要两个。如果他不愿意尽力，那就是他。他无权告诉您，当他仍然想“继续努力”时，您不能放弃婚姻。
可以承认您想要自己的东西更好。他的意愿并不是唯一重要的意志。而且，如果他甚至不愿意考虑自己的罪魁祸首，以瓦解您的关系，那么他坚持这一关系的意愿与爱无关。
2. Set the stage for safety.
This step is too often overlooked. If your husband is genuinely convinced he’s done nothing wrong and that you’re just being “crazy” or夸张或自私, he’s already comfortable with emotional abuse.
如果他认为对威胁他的自我的口头攻击没有错，那么他身体猛烈抨击可能不会花更多的钱。而且，如果他已经在打墙壁和猛击门，那么他已经表现出旨在使自己的脾气武器的倾向。
Threatening to leave him or to talk to anyone about his behavior toward you could be especially dangerous, especially if he can’t love-bomb you into changing your mind.
3.与他交谈。
Be honest about what you’ve noticed and what you’re feeling. You have a right to want a relationship built on mutual love and respect.
If he’s not willing to treat you with either, the marriage is already dead. Letting go wouldn’t be “giving up” so much as acknowledging the obvious.
如果他愿意考虑夫妻疗法，那是另一回事。询问他愿意与您一起参加治疗会议的频率。如果他愿意诚实地努力来改善您的关系，那么有理由希望情况会变得更好。
如果他想谈论改善您的婚姻，请尽力保持沟通畅通。您可以同情他，但不要利用他痛苦的背景故事来辩解对您的不尊重行为。
确保他愿意始终如一地做自己的角色，与您建立充满爱心的婚姻。
4. Set some boundaries.
If you’re here thinking, “I do everything for my husband, and he does nothing for me,” get clear on what exactly you do for him that he doesn’t bother reciprocating. Let him know you’re done doing all the work in the relationship.
If he considers you worth the work of doing his part, he’ll step up. Otherwise, you’re putting him on notice that you’ve got other options you’re willing to explore.
同样，请确保您可以做到这一点，而不会损害您的安全。
Let him know what you expect from him as your husband. And ask if he’s willing to do his part instead of expecting you to make up for it. You don’t owe him a trouble-free marriage.
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5.如果他大声或侮辱，请保持冷静。
他可能很快将自己的声音用作武器或公开批评您，但是当您开始大喊大叫或发动反击时，您就会放弃自己的优势。保持冷静，无论您的生气或攻击多么生气。
This is why it’s important to have another outlet for your emotions. When you talk to him about your relationship, you don’t want a hair-trigger temper. Neither do you want to feel on the edge of tears.
如果他习惯于利用您，那么他只会太快就能使用。另外，是方法哭泣时很难说话。
That said, be kind to yourself if the tears do come. It’s a lot.
6.开始制定退出计划。
If your husband persists in thinking he’s done nothing wrong and that你是what’s wrong with the relationship, it’s time to face up to the reality that you’re in an emotionally abusive relationship.
If your husband is a narcissist, he won’t see much value in getting to know you on more than a superficial level. It’s enough for him that you let him be in charge, gratify his impulses, and try to be the wife he wants you to be–at the cost of your needs and your identity.
With anabusive narcissist对于丈夫来说，您没有值得这个名字的婚姻 - 独自一人值得为之奋斗。
7. Call on your support system (or create one).
Talk to supportive friends and family about what’s going on in your marriage and about your exit plan. Let them know if you don’t feel safe in your relationship.
对他们关于如何安全地解脱婚姻的建议持开放态度。
如果您的丈夫无意为您提供轻松的事情，请获得您所需的帮助，并保护您的兴趣以及您所拥有的任何孩子的兴趣。如果您的丈夫试图欺负您留下来，可以招募可以支持您的人的帮助。
时间时，全力以赴。
However your husband chooses to react, you decide just how much of his petty or abusive behavior you’ll tolerate before you choose to separate or divorce. True, walking away is more complicated when you’re married, but it’s not impossible.
那么，您今天将做些什么来追随您想要的恋爱关系？
